Retirement Quotes

Retirement quotes that celebrate reaching this incredible milestone in life! Help mark this special occasion with a heartfelt message wishing the lucky person all the best for the next chapter in their life, or give them some funny retirement advice!

Are you looking for a retirement quote to write in a card for a colleague or boss who is finishing up at work? Maybe you're feeling sad that you'll lose a dear friend, or incredibly jealous that you'll be turning up to work next week when they're gone!

Or perhaps you want to wish a family member, parent, or friend all the best for their retirement, and send them on their way with some retirement wisdom from those who have been there before!

Our collection includes...

On this page I've curated the best retirement quotes from around the internet and grouped them into helpful categories. You can click on each link to see a topic, or scroll down the page to read them all.

Funny/Humorous Retirement Quotes

Goodbye/Farewell Quotes

New Beginnings Quotes

More Retirement quotes

Retirement "Badge" Sayings

Humorous and Funny Retirement Quotes

Retirement is wonderful. It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it.
~ Gene Perret

Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. The goal is to enjoy it the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money.
~ Jonathan Clements

The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off.
~ Abe Lemons

Retirement: It's nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese.
~ Gene Perret

You're retired - goodbye tension, hello pension!
~ Author Unknown

"Retirement, a time to do what you want to do, when you want to do it, where you want to do it, and, how you want to do it."
~ Catherine Pulsifer

"There is no need to be bound by convention, push the envelope, do it weird, do it different, but most of all do it fun! Be that cigar chomping rock'n'roll granny if it takes your fancy."
~ from "101 Fun Things to do in Retirement" by Stella Rheingold

Retirement: That's when you return from work one day and say: "Hi, Honey, I'm home - forever."
~ Gene Perret

And this one-liner is rather funny, especially if you write it on a toilet seat!

"When you've got to go, you've got to go!"

If you're looking for more funny retirement ideas, do check out our Retirement Gag Gifts page.

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Free Retirement Certificate Maker

Have a play on our free Retirement certificate maker and present your colleague or family member with a funny certificate celebrating this milestone achievement.

retired old codger certificate template

You can edit all the text on the certificate to personalize it perfectly for the lucky retiree!

wonder years funny award certificate template for 50th or 60th birthday

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On Saying Goodbye

"It's time to say goodbye, but I think goodbyes are sad and I'd much rather say hello. Hello to a new adventure."
~ Ernie Harwell

"If you're brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello."
~ Paulo Coelho

"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened."
~ Dr Seuss

"It is so hard to leave - until you leave. And then it is the easiest goddamned thing in the world."
~ from "Paper Towns" by John Green

"Well, here at last, dear friends, on the shores of the Sea comes the end of our fellowship in Middle-earth. Go in peace! I will not say: do not weep; for not all tears are an evil."
~ from "The Return of the King" by J.R.R. Tolkien

"Goodbyes are not forever. Goodbyes are not the end. They simply mean I'll miss you until we meet again."
~ Author Unknown.

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On New Beginnings

"Look on every exit as being an entrance somewhere else."
~ from "Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead" by Tom Stoppard

"Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end."
~ Lyrics from "Closing Time" by Semisonic

"What we call the beginning is often the end. And to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from."
~ from "Little Gidding" by T.S. Eliot

"Shall the day of parting be the day of gathering? And shall it be said that my eve was in truth my dawn?"
~ taken from "The Prophet" by Kahlil Gibran

"I'll tell you this. Leaving that which you love breaks your heart open. But you will find a jewel inside, and this precious jewel is the opening of your heart to all that is new and all that is different, and it will be the making of you - if you allow it to be."
~ from "Leaving Everything Most Loved" by Jacqueline Winspear

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More Retirement Quotes

May you always have work for your hands to do.
May your pockets hold always a coin or two.
May the sun shine bright on your windowpane.
May the rainbow be certain to follow each rain.
May the hand of a friend always be near you.
And may God fill your heart with gladness to cheer you.
Irish Blessing

Dare to live the life you have dreamed for yourself. Go forward and make your dreams come true.
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under trees on a summer's day, listening to the murmur of the water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means a waste of time.
~ J. Lubbock

Retire from work, but not from life.
~ M.K. Soni

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Retirement "Badge" Sayings

Here are some silly retirement sayings to put on a badge or sign for the retiree!

  • I'm not retired - golfing is a full-time job!
  • I'm not retired - knitting is a full-time job!
  • I'm retired... but I work part time as a pain in the butt!
  • Retired, but working part time spoiling my grandkids!
  • Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth!
  • Quit yer yappin and give me my damn discount!
  • Retired and happy... spending my kids' inheritance!
  • Senior Citizen... and Unsolicited Advice Dispenser!
  • Retirement is what you do between doctor appointments.
  • I'm retired. Your Not. Nah nah nah nah nah.
  • Retirement: the pay sucks, but the hours are really good!
  • 65 is the new... what was I saying?

And you can find many more silly retirement ideas on our retirement gag gifts page.

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Other people also like...

I hope you enjoyed our collection of retirement quotes! And we have more ideas on our retirement wishes and card messages page.

If you're looking for a personalized retirement gift, do check out our "retirement statistics" poster generator.

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