150 Funny Birthday Wishes, Quotes, Jokes & Images
Last updated: September 21, 2023
Start here for the funniest birthday wishes around! In a world where birthday cards are often filled with kind words, meaningful sentiments, and ways to charm the reader, there's always the chance to take a different route - the funny route. If you enjoy cheeky charm, humorous quotes, and complete hilarity, you have come to the right place. This blog is full of wishes, quotes, and jokes for anyone in your life who would enjoy a lighthearted joke in their birthday card this year.
Say goodbye to generic, ordinary, and boring birthday wishes; you can stand out above the rest with a true humorous touch. Transform your run-of-the-mill birthday card wishes and take a unique approach that will leave everyone in fits of laughter. Buy a card, grab your pen, and get ready to knock the socks off your loved ones with these great wishes, quotes, and jokes.
Whether you're looking to tease, tickle, or leave the birthday star in fits of laughter, we've got the perfect words to help you create birthday card magic that will leave everyone in stitches. Let's turn those birthday blues into a burst of belly laughs!
When a sappy message just won't cut it, these hilarious wishes will seal the deal. No matter how you send one of these funny wishes, you're sure to brighten their birthday and make them laugh out loud!
Use these links to jump to a particular section, or scroll down the page to see the entire collection of funny birthday wishes and quotes.
Funny Birthday Wishes
If you believe that the best way to celebrate another year of existence is with a hearty laugh, you've come to the right place. These humorous birthday messages are sure to tickle their funny bone on their birthday!
I believe you forgot my birthday present last year, so now I'm returning the favor. Happy Birthday!
Happy birthday, you old fossil! You've officially reached an age where your back goes out more than you do!
A wise man once said, "Forget about your past - you cannot change it." I'd like to add: "Forget about your present - I didn't get you one."
You're how old?! You better take that cake outdoors to light the candles! Have a very happy birthday.
Don't stress about your eyesight failing as you get older. It's nature's way of protecting you from shock as you walk past the mirror.
Great news! ...you're still alive!
You've got more than half a century of accumulated knowledge and wisdom! That would be awesome... if you could remember any of it.
Don't think of it as turning [insert age]. We're here to celebrate the 10th anniversary of your [insert age -10]th birthday.
Happy Birthday! And remember you're not [insert age] ...you're 18 with [XX] years' experience.
Deepest sympathies on your [insert age] birthday.
Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that people who have the most live the longest! (But don't overdo it, too many can be fatal.)
They say you lose your mind as you grow older... what they don't tell you is that you won't miss it much!
Age is like underwear; it creeps up on you when you least expect it. Have a hilarious birthday!
You know you're getting older when the candles cost more than the cake. Have a sweet birthday!
Short Funny Birthday Wishes
Short enough to fit in a text message and funny enough to leave the birthday star doubled over with laughter! These short funny birthday wishes prove that sometimes, less is more.
Don't let aging get you down... It's too hard to get back up again!
If gray hair is a sign of wisdom, then you're a genius!
What goes up but never comes down? Your age.
The tragedy of getting old: So many candles... so little cake.
Technically, you're not 50. You're only $49.95, plus tax!
Another year older, but not necessarily wiser. Cheers to you on your birthday!
You've reached the age where your train of thought sometimes leaves the station without you. Happy Birthday!
Happy birthday! Remember, age is just a number, but a big one in your case!
Happy birthday! You're not old; you're just retro-cool.
Another year, another reason to pretend you're surprised by your age. Enjoy the charade!
Happy birthday! May your day be as fabulous as you pretend your age is.
You're not old; you're just well-seasoned. Have a spicy birthday!
Congratulations on being born a really long time ago.
You might be prehistoric, but at least you're not extinct!
Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.
You're not old! Oh, wait, actually you are. Sorry about that.
Funny Happy Birthday Quotes
These short and funny quotes are perfect for cards, messages, or even a quick birthday toast. Whether you're aiming for a giggle, a full belly laugh, or a funny conversation starter, you'll find the perfect quote right here.
When I have a birthday, I take the day off. But when my wife has a birthday, she takes a year or two off.
Please don't retouch my wrinkles. It took me so many birthdays to earn them.
~ Anna Magnani
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
~ Chili Davis
Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
~ Jack Benny
Age is not important unless you're a cheese.
~ Helen Hayes
Middle age is when your age begins to show around your middle.
~ Bob Hope
A man has reached middle age when he's warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police.
~ Henry Youngman
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
~ Mark Twain
You are only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime.
~ John Grier
I will never be an old man. To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am.
~ Francis Bacon
You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.
~ Woody Allen
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
~ Lucille Ball
You're in mint condition for a vintage model. Happy Birthday.
~ Catherine Pulsifer
Age is a number and mine is unlisted.
~ Author Unknown
As you get older, three things happen: The first is your memory, and I can't remember the other two.
~ Norman Wisdom
You know you've aged when you read events you lived through in a history book.
~ Will Ferrell
Funny Birthday Wishes for Her
Birthdays are the perfect time to enjoy some good old-fashioned laughter, and what better way to do so than with short, funny wishes that have been tailor-made for her special day? Check out this delightful array of short and funny birthday quotes designed to make her laugh.
We'll be friends 'til we're old and senile... and then we'll be new friends!
The secret to staying young is make-up. Make up an age, then stick with it!
Happy Birthday. It took you [insert age] years to look this good!
You're the youngest [insert age] year old I know.
Like many women my age, I am 28 years old.
You suck at aging! Can you at least try to look older?
Those aren't gray hairs you see. They're strands of birthday glitter growing out of your head.
Age is just a number, and in your case, it's a very well-kept secret. Have a fantastic birthday!
Happy birthday to the woman who ages like a fine wine and smells like a bouquet of roses!
Happy birthday! May your day be filled with so much joy that it makes you forget you're another year closer to retirement.
Happy Birthday! Be happy you aged like red wine and not milk!
Funny Birthday Wishes for Him
Whether you're searching for a witty message for a card, a hilarious text to send your friend or other half, or a playful post for social media to pair with an embarrassing photo, these humorous wishes are set to make his special day a riot of laughs!
If anyone calls you old this birthday, just hit them with your walking stick and throw your teeth at them.
Happy Birthday! Don't forget to iron that birthday suit.
A little gray hair is a small price to pay for so much wisdom.
You don't have birthdays anymore, you level up!
Fill in the gaps: H___Y B__T____ ... nice try - HAIRY BUTTOCKS.
Happy Birthday, Dad! When I grow up I want to be just like you... but hopefully with more hair! Love, your son.
You know you've hit [XX] years when you realize your back is hairier than your head.
What did the bald guy say when he got a comb for his birthday? Thanks, I'll never part with it!
Happy birthday to the guy who's so awesome, they had to create a special day just for him. You're welcome!
Wishing you a birthday filled with more laughter, less hair loss, and fewer 'senior moments.' Have a blast!
Happy birthday! You're not just a year older; you're a year wiser, taller, and probably still confused about taxes.
They say with age comes wisdom, but in your case, it looks like you got a discount. Happy birthday, bargain philosopher!
Funny Birthday Wishes for Family
When it comes to birthdays within the family, it's not just about candles and presents; it's about creating moments that will be talked about for years to come. And what better way to do that than with a healthy dose of humor?
To the one who's aging like fine wine... well, if fine wine came in a box and had a 'Best Before' date!
Congratulations, you've finally reached the 'Wonder Years'! Wonder where your car is parked? Wonder where you left your phone? Wonder where your glasses are? Wonder what day it is?
Happy Birthday to a [mom/dad] who's smart, funny, and good-looking, from a [daughter/son] who inherited all your best qualities.
Another year older, and you're still the wisest person in the room... Well, most of the time! Happy birthday.
To the one who's older than all the family photo albums combined, happy birthday! You're our living history book!
Happy birthday to the uncle who puts the 'fun' in our family functions. May your day be as legendary as your dad jokes!
Another year, another reminder that we're not getting any younger. But hey, at least we're getting funnier! Cheers to us!
Another year older and wiser? Well, you've got the older part down, at least. Have a fantastic birthday!
Happy birthday to the one I love more than cake, and that's saying something! Let's eat cake together and celebrate!
Congratulations on aging like a fine wine, my love. Just remember, even the finest wines can give you a headache if you have too much!
Happy birthday to the uncle who's so cool, I swear the temperature drops a few degrees whenever he enters the room!
Funny Birthday Wishes for Best Friend
When it's your best friend's birthday, it's time to pull out all the stops, and that includes the humor! Best friends share a unique bond filled with inside jokes, memorable moments, and the ability to make each other burst into fits of laughter at the drop of a hat.
Some say the glass is half empty, others say the glass is half full. It's your birthday, so just drink whatever's in the glass!
On your special day, I wish you peace, love, insight, relaxation, fun, knowledge, romance, friendship, and all that stuff that doesn't cost anything.
Just imagine all the things you'd want to hear on your birthday and imagine I wrote them here!
For your birthday, I wanted to give you something that was both funny and charming, but then I remembered you already have me in your life.
At your age, people expect you to be calm, dignified, and sober. Disappoint them.
You're older; you're wiser; you're sophisticated. Far too sophisticated to be concerned with material things like presents.
At least you're not as old as you'll be this time next year.
If you feel a bit lonely, forgotten, or just need someone to cheer you up, remember... you can always change your birthday on Facebook!
A true friend remembers your birthday, but not your age.
You're turning the perfect age. You're old enough to recognize your mistakes but young enough to make some more. Happy birthday!
The best part of being over forty is that you did most of your stupid stuff before the internet.
Don't worry, they are not gray hairs, they are wisdom highlights. You just happen to be extremely wise.
By the time you're your age, you've learned everything - you only have to remember it! Many happy returns on your birthday.
I spent 3 hours searching the internet for the perfect birthday message for you and then I gave up. Happy Birthday.
Happy 21st again!
Cheers to all of the good times we have had, and to the many more to come - if you're still agile enough!
Funny Birthday Wishes for Colleagues
Birthdays at the workplace aren't just about emails and meetings; they're an opportunity to add a dash of humor to the daily grind. And who better to share a birthday laugh with than your colleagues?
Guess what - you're one year closer to retiring! Happy Birthday.
Work makes us colleagues. Our inappropriate conversations make us friends. Happy Birthday!
You are one year wiser, which is lucky, as I forgot the password again... Happy Birthday, work buddy.
You're such an amazing worker you definitely deserve a raise. Unfortunately, I'm not the boss. Happy Birthday!
Happy Birthday to my favorite coworker who gets the job done while having a ton of fun!
It sucks to have to work on your birthday - but at least you get to spend it with me this year! Happy Birthday.
Happy Birthday! Where's the cake?
Did you hear someone is stealing lunches from the fridge? I hope you enjoy the piece of cake I packed today! Happy Birthday.
You're the reason why I never get tired of work. But you may be the reason I get fired for talking too much! Happy Birthday.
Whoops, I didn't get you a present. Being my office buddy should be the only birthday present that you need - and it even lasts all year!
Funny Belated Happy Birthday Wishes
Oh no! Did you forget their birthday? Apologize with one of these funny belated Happy Birthday messages. I'm sure it will get you back in their good books...
I know you think this card is a few days late. It's actually worse than that. This is your card from 2010 that I just got around to sending. Happy Belated Birthday!
I'm so sorry I forgot your birthday. The good news is that I also forgot your age. Happy Belated Birthday!
I'm so sorry for sending you belated birthday wishes. Honestly, I didn't think you would live this long. Happy Birthday!
I promise this card isn't late. It is intentionally arriving after your birthday because I think you deserve a whole birth month. Happy Birth Month!
Happy Birthday! Don't think of this as a late birthday card. Consider it a very early one for next year. Here's wishing you a wonderful year ahead!
I heard that you can still celebrate your birthday all month, so I'm technically just early for your month-long celebration. Happy Belated Birthday!
I didn't forget your birthday; I was just testing your memory. You passed! Belated happy birthday!
I didn't miss your birthday; I was just trying to make it a surprise. I mean, who expects a birthday wish a day late? Happy belated birthday!
I didn't want to steal the spotlight from your other birthday well-wishers, so I waited until they were done. Now it's my turn! Happy belated birthday!
Funny Happy Birthday Jokes
Birthdays are a time for joy, celebration, and of course, laughter! And what better way to celebrate than with a good dose of funny birthday jokes? Whether you're the one blowing out the candles or you're here to tickle someone else's funny bone, you've come to the right place!
How does NASA organize a birthday party? They planet.
What kind of music is scary for birthday balloons? Pop music!
I used to get heartburn when I ate birthday cake until the doctor advised me to take the candles off first.
I always get this warm feeling on my birthday - people won't stop toasting me.
Why did the teddy bear refuse a slice of birthday cake? He was already stuffed.
You know you're getting old when you can't walk past a bathroom without thinking, "I may as well pee while I'm here."
The good thing about having a bad memory is that jokes can be funny more than once. The good thing about having a bad memory is that jokes can be funny more than once.
Did you hear about the 50-year-old year old who was still cool? Yeah, me neither.
Do you know why candles are always put on top of birthday cakes? Because it's far too difficult to put them on the bottom.
You know you're old when you turn down the lights to be economical instead of romantic.
You know you're old when getting lucky means a short wait in the doctor's office.
You know you're old when you have a party and the neighbors don't even realize.
Did you know that [insert date] is a date when no famous men or women have ever been born?... None, only babies!
What do you say to a kangaroo on its birthday? Hoppy Birthday (but only on LEAP years!).
You know you're old when you and your teeth don't sleep together anymore.
What happens when no one shows up to your birthday party? You can have your cake and eat it too.
What did the pirate say to his parrot on his 80th birthday? Aye Matey.
What type of birthday cake do ghosts like most? I Scream Cake.
What goes up but never comes down? Your age.
Why did the birthday cake go to the doctor? Because it was feeling a little crumby!
Why did the scarecrow get invited to the birthday party? Because he was outstanding in his field!
Why did the tomato turn red at the birthday party? Because it saw the salad dressing!
What's the best way to avoid birthday cake calories? Just eat it all in one bite - it's all one serving!
Funny Birthday Wishes with Emojis
These next birthday wishes will make you laugh out loud! If you like to send funny Happy Birthday wishes to friends or family via SMS then be sure to add a few emojis to brighten up their birthday!
Happy Birthday! 🎂🧓👵🏾 You're a whole year OLDER 😂 Enjoy the ride 🎢
You age like a fine wine 🍷, but some may say you smell like a fine cheese... 🧀😂 Happy Birthday! 🎂
Cake 🎂✔️ Champers 🍾✔️ Best friend 👭✔️ PARTY 🥳✔️
Birthdays are about looking forward to your future. Forget about your past, you can't change it. Oh, and you can forget about your present - I didn't get you one 🎁😂
Cheers to the person who's as wild and crazy as I am 🤪 Happy Birthday! 🎊🥳🎉
You're prehistoric, but not extinct! Hope your birthday is dino-mite 🦖
Another year around the sun ☀️🥳Another reason to throw a party 🎶🎉Happy Birthday!
On this very day, an amazing queen/king was born 👑 A court jester was also born... Happy Birthday to my favorite Joker! 🃏😂
Here's a birthday wish...🎈 I hope that your hangover tomorrow isn't too bad. 🍺🥂🍷🍸🍹🍻 Cheers!
The best thing about being over 4️⃣0️⃣ is that you did stupid stuff before social media 🤓 Happy Birthday!
Happy birthday to someone who's out of this world🪐And by that I mean a little weird, like me 👽😂 💫
🎂 The older you get, the better you get... unless you are a birthday cake! Hope you have a great birthday and a BIG slice of cake 🍰🥳
Another year older, but don't worry, you're still not as old as that 'ancient' dinosaur in the museum! Happy Birthday🎉🥳
They say wisdom comes with age, but in your case, it seems to be taking a rain check. Have a hilarious birthday!🎁🤣
In dog years, you'd be... well, let's not do the math. Have a pawsitively amazing birthday!🍰🐶
Cake: because no great story ever started with someone eating a salad. Have a slice (or three) on your special day! 🥳🎂🎈
More Funny Birthday Wishes
Still on the hunt for that perfect birthday message? Dive into these pages for an array of funny wishes and memorable quotes:
Religious Birthday Wishes
Free Printable Birthday Cards
Check out our collection of free printable birthday cards, including funny pun cards and humorous cards. There are also some color-in printable cards, perfect for kids who want to create a unique birthday card for family and friends.