135 Funny Birthday Wishes, Quotes, Jokes & Images
Last updated: October 1, 2022
If you're looking for funny birthday wishes, quotes, and jokes to put a smile on their dial - you've come to the right place! Sometimes it's your brother/best friend/partners/office buddy's birthday, but a sappy message just won't cut it. Whether it's for him or her, a friend or a colleague, or maybe even a belated birthday wish (whoops!), we've got you covered with our huge selection of humorous birthday wishes.
Write the giggle-worthy greetings in birthday cards, send them by SMS or email, or message someone on Facebook or Twitter - we even have a hilarious emoji message selection! No matter how you send one of these funny wishes, you're sure to brighten their birthday and make them laugh out loud!
Use these links to jump to a particular section, or scroll down the page to see the entire collection of funny birthday wishes and quotes.
Funny Birthday Wishes
Here are funny Happy Birthday wishes and messages you can use in a funny birthday card message to friends or family. These humorous birthday messages are sure to tickle their funny bone on their birthday.
I believe you forgot my birthday present last year, so now I'm returning the favor. Happy Birthday!
It's your birthday? Let's get up to some mischief!
A wise man once said, "Forget about your past - you cannot change it." I'd like to add: "Forget about your present - I didn't get you one."
Happy Birthday to a [Mom/Dad] who's smart, funny, and good-looking, from a [daughter/son] who inherited all your best qualities.
Funny birthday wishes about getting older:
You're how old?! Better take that cake outdoors to light the candles! Have a very happy birthday.
It's OK to light the candles on your birthday cake now; I've already alerted the fire department.
You know, they say that age is all in your mind. The key is to prevent it from trickling down into your body.
Congratulations on being born a really long time ago.
You might be prehistoric, but at least you're not extinct!
Congratulations, you've finally reached the wonder years... wonder where your car is parked? Wonder where you left your phone? Wonder where your glasses are? Wonder what day it is?
When I have a birthday, I take the day off. But when my wife has a birthday, she takes a year or two off.
Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.
You're not old! ...oh, no, wait, actually you are, sorry about that...
Don't stress about your eyesight failing as you get older. It's nature's way of protecting you from shock as you walk past the mirror.
Happy Birthday!! You only look as old as the last selfie you took.
I wouldn't say you're old... you've just been young for longer than most of us.
Don't grow up... It's a trap!
Great news! ...you're still alive!
You've got more than half a century of accumulated knowledge and wisdom! That would be awesome... if you could remember any of it.
You know, I would be a whole lot more excited about you turning one year older if I was in your will. Happy Birthday!
Happy Birthday to someone who has attended more birthday parties for kids than adults this year.
I thought you might need some help with the candles. Happy Birthday!
Personalize these Happy Birthday funny wishes with the age of the person.
Don't think of it as turning [insert age]. We're here to celebrate the 10th anniversary of your [insert age -10]th birthday.
Looking [insert age] is great - if you're sixty.
[For under 40s:] You may not be over the hill yet, but you have a great view!
[insert age]?! I demand a recount!
Congratulations on the 10th anniversary of your [XX]th birthday! Here's to many more.
Happy Birthday! And remember you're not [insert age] ...you're 18 with [XX] years' experience.
[Insert age] and still too young to plan your own surprise party!
You're 60? That's only 16 in Celsius. Happy birthday!
Deepest sympathies on your [insert age] birthday.
Funny Happy Birthday Quotes
Here is a selection of funny Happy Birthday quotes that you can use to wish a friend or family member a very happy birthday, plus poke fun at their age! Use these as a funny birthday card message, or even as a Facebook caption.
Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that people who have the most live the longest! (But it has also been scientifically proven that too many will kill you.)
Don't let aging get you down... it's too hard to get back up again!
Middle age... when "happy hour" is a nap!
If gray hair is a sign of wisdom, then you're a genius!
What goes up but never comes down? Your age.
The tragedy of getting old: So many candles... so little cake.
Technically you're not 50. You're only $49.95, plus tax!
They say you lose your mind as you grow older... what they don't tell you is that you won't miss it much!
Age doesn't make you forgetful: having too many stupid things to remember makes you forgetful!
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
~ Chili Davis
Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
~ Jack Benny
Youth is a gift of nature but age is a work of art.
~ Stanislaw Lec
Age is not important unless you're a cheese.
~ Helen Hayes
I've reached an age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.
Funny Birthday Wishes for Her
The ladies love to laugh! Here's a collection of funny Happy Birthday wishes for your mom, sister, aunt, third cousin, or female friends.
We'll be friends 'til we're old and senile... and then we'll be new friends!
The secret to staying young is make-up... make up an age, then stick with it!
Happy Birthday. It took you [insert age] years to look this good!
Please don't retouch my wrinkles. It took me so many birthdays to earn them.
~ Anna Magnani
You're the youngest [insert age] year old I know.
Like many women my age, I am 28 years old.
You suck at aging! Can you at least try to look older?
Those aren't gray hairs you see. They're strands of birthday glitter growing out of your head.
Funny Birthday Wishes for Him
Need comical birthday messages to poke fun at the signs of aging for a man? These funny Happy Birthday wishes for him, include humorous messages to wish your dad, brother, uncle, or best buddy a very happy birthday!
If anyone calls you old this birthday, just hit him with your walking stick and throw your teeth at him.
Happy Birthday! Don't forget to iron that birthday suit.
A little gray hair is a small price to pay for so much wisdom.
I don't have birthdays anymore, I level up!
Fill in the gaps: H___Y B__T____ ... nice try - HAIRY BUTTOCKS.
Happy Birthday, Dad! When I grow up I want to be just like you... but hopefully with more hair! Love, your son.
Middle age is when your age begins to show around your middle.
~ Bob Hope
You know you're 40 when your back is hairier than your head.
What did the bald guy say when he got a comb for his birthday? Thanks, I'll never part with it!
A man has reached middle age when he's warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police.
~ Henry Youngman
Funny Belated Happy Birthday Wishes
Oh no! Did you forget their birthday? Apologize with one of these funny belated Happy Birthday messages. I'm sure it will get you back in their good books...
I know you think this card is a few days late. It's actually worse than that. This is your card from 2010 that I only just got around to sending. Happy Belated Birthday!
I'm so sorry I forgot your birthday. The good news is that I also forgot your age. Happy Belated Birthday!
I'm so sorry for sending you belated birthday wishes. Honestly, I didn't think you would live this long. Happy Birthday!
I promise this card isn't late. It is intentionally arriving after your birth-day because I think you deserve a whole birth-month. Happy Birth-month!
Happy Birthday! Don't think of this as a late birthday card. Consider it a very early one for next year. Here's wishing you a wonderful year ahead!
Funny Birthday Wishes for Best Friend
You and your best friend will have shared in some comical capers over the years! These funny birthday wishes to wish your best friend a very happy birthday will be sure to give them a giggle.
Some say the glass is half empty, others say the glass is half full. It's your birthday, just drink whatever's in the glass!
On your special day, I wish you peace, love, insight, relaxation, fun, knowledge, romance, friendship... and all that stuff that doesn't cost anything.
Just imagine all the things you'd want to hear on your birthday ...and assume I wrote them here!
For your birthday, I wanted to give you something that was both funny and charming, but then I remembered you already have me in your life.
At your age, people expect you to be calm, dignified, and sober. Disappoint them.
You're older; you're wiser; you're sophisticated. Far too sophisticated to be concerned with material things like presents.
At least you're not as old as you'll be this time next year.
If you feel a bit lonely, forgotten, or just need someone to cheer you up remember...You can always change your birthday on Facebook!
A true friend remembers your birthday, but not your age.
You're turning the perfect age. You're old enough to recognize your mistakes but young enough to make some more. Happy birthday!
The best part of being over forty is that you did most of your stupid stuff before the internet.
Don't worry, they are not gray hairs, they are wisdom-highlights. You just happen to be extremely wise.
[For over 40s:] Happy Birthday! I'm so pleased to hear you're over the hill instead of under it.
By the time you're your age, you've learned everything - you only have to remember it! Many happy returns on your birthday.
I spent 3 hours searching the internet for the perfect birthday message for you and then I gave up. Happy Birthday.
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
~ Mark Twain
You are only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime.
~ John Grier
Happy 21st again!
If things get better with age, then you're approaching magnificent!
I will never be an old man. To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am.
~ Francis Bacon
You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.
~ Woody Allen
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
~ Lucille Ball
You're in mint condition for a vintage model. Happy Birthday.
~ Catherine Pulsifer
Age is a number and mine is unlisted.
~ Author Unknown
As you get older, three things happen: The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two.
~ Norman Wisdom
You know you've aged when you read events you lived in a history book.
~ Will Ferrell
Funny Birthday Wishes for Colleagues
A lot of the time our birthday falls on a workday. Be sure to make your office buddy's day with a funny message. Here are some funny Happy Birthday wishes and messages that you can write in a birthday card message to work colleagues on their birthday.
Guess what - you're one year closer to retiring! Happy Birthday.
Work makes us colleagues. Our inappropriate conversations make us friends. Happy Birthday!
You are one year wiser, which is lucky, as I forgot the password again... Happy Birthday work buddy.
You're such an amazing worker you definitely deserve a raise... Unfortunately, I'm not the boss. Happy Birthday!
Happy Birthday to my favorite coworker who gets the job done, whilst having a ton of fun!
It sucks to have to work on your birthday - but at least you get to spend it with me this year! Happy Birthday.
Happy Birthday! Where's the cake?
Did you hear someone is stealing lunches from the fridge? I hope you enjoy the piece of cake I packed today! Happy Birthday.
You're the reason why I never get tired of work. But you may be the reason I get fired for talking too much! Happy Birthday.
Whoops, I didn't get you a present. Being my office buddy should be the only birthday present that you need - it even lasts all year!
Birthday Wishes with Emojis
These next birthday wishes will make you lol (that's "laugh out loud")! If you like to send funny Happy Birthday wishes to friends or family via SMS then be sure to add a few emojis to brighten up their birthday.
Happy Birthday! 🎂🧓👵🏾 You're a whole year OLDER 😂 Enjoy the ride 🎢
You age like a fine wine 🍷 Some may say you smell like a fine cheese... 🧀😂 Happy Birthday! 🎂
Cake 🎂✔️ Champers 🍾✔️ Best friend 👭✔️ PARTY 🥳✔️
Birthdays are about looking forward to your future. Forget about your past, you can't change it. And you can forget about your present - I didn't get you one 🎁😂
Cheers to the person who's as wild and crazy as I am 🤪 Happy Birthday! 🎊🥳🎉
You're prehistoric, but not extinct! Hope your birthday is dino-mite 🦖
Another year around the sun ☀️🥳Another reason to throw a party 🎶🎉Happy Birthday!
On this very day, an amazing queen/king was born 👑 A court jester was also born... Happy Birthday to my favorite Joker! 🃏😂
Here's a birthday wish...🎈 I hope that your hangover tomorrow isn't too bad. 🍺🥂🍷🍸🍹🍻 Cheers!
The best thing about being over 4️⃣0️⃣ is that you did stupid stuff before social media 🤓 Happy Birthday!
Happy birthday to someone who's out of this world🪐And by that I mean a little weird, like me 👽😂 💫
🎂 The older you get, the better you get... unless you are a birthday cake! Hope you have a great birthday and a BIG slice of cake 🍰🥳
Funny Happy Birthday Jokes
A collection of Happy Birthday funny jokes you can send to your friends and family on their birthdays. These birthday-themed funnies are sure to make their day.
How does NASA organize a birthday party? They planet.
What kind of music is scary for birthday balloons? ...pop music!
I used to get heartburn when I ate birthday cake until the doctor advised me to take the candles off first.
I always get this warm feeling on my birthday - people won't stop toasting me.
Why did the teddy bear refuse a slice of birthday cake? He was already stuffed.
You know you're getting old when you can't walk past a bathroom without thinking, "I may as well pee while I'm here."
The good thing about having a bad memory is that jokes can be funny more than once.
The good thing about having a bad memory is that jokes can be funny more than once.
Did you hear about the [insert age] year old who was still cool? Yeah, me neither.
Do you know why candles are always put on top of birthday cakes?
Because it's far too difficult to put them on the bottom.
You know you're old when you turn down the lights to be economical instead of romantic.
You know you're old when getting lucky means a short wait in the doctor's office.
You know you're old when you have a party and the neighbors don't even realize.
Did you know that [insert date] is a date when no famous men or women have ever been born? .....None, only babies!
What do you say to a kangaroo on its birthday?
Hoppy Birthday (but only on LEAP years!).
You know you're old when...
You and your teeth don't sleep together anymore.
What happens when no one shows up to your birthday party?
You can have your cake and eat it too.
What did the pirate say to his parrot on his 80th birthday?
What type of birthday cake do ghosts like most?
I Scream Cake.
When's your birthday?
More Funny Birthday Wishes
Still looking for just the right message? Check out these pages for more funny birthday wishes and quotes:
Religious Birthday Wishes
Free Printable Birthday Cards
Check out our collection of free printable birthday cards, including funny pun cards and humorous cards. There are also some color-in printable cards, perfect for kids who want to create a unique birthday card for family and friends.