50th Birthday Jokes
Looking for funny 50th birthday jokes for this momentous occasion? Turning 50 is a milestone worth celebrating, and a good excuse for a laugh too!
Our collection includes...
Whether you want to poke-fun, lighten the mood, or soften the blow of turning fifty, you'll find something funny here.
Scroll down the page to read all our funny 50th birthday jokes, or click on these links to see a particular subset.
A lot of these jokes are short enough for a card message or to include in a 50th birthday speech.
Other ways to use them include as part of the birthday invitation wording, or print and frame one of the one-liners and use as a part of the party decor. You could also display a joke next to a photo of the person as a centerpiece near the birthday cake or as you enter the venue of the party. Or just text them a joke on their birthday as a funny way to say congratulations.
50th Birthday Jokes about Aging
Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get up again.
How do you know you've hit middle-age? In preparation for a big sneeze you cross your legs really hard and hope for the best!
You are so old, you walked into an antique shop and they sold you.
You know you're getting old when you can't walk past a bathroom without thinking, "I may as well pee while I'm here."
You know you're old when you turn down the lights to be economical instead of romantic.
Q: What goes up and never comes down?
A: Your age!
You know you're getting older when an "all-nighter" means not getting up to pee.
Middle age: that time when you finally get your head together - then your body starts falling apart.
Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.
Middle age... when "happy hour" is a nap!
Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.
Benefits of Age Jokes
Don't be upset about your birthday. Just think, you're one year closer to getting the senior citizen discount!
Getting older has some benefits... Call it a "senior moment" and you can get away with pretty much anything!
With age comes skills, it's called "multi-tasking". Now you can laugh, cough, sneeze, fart, and pee all at the same time!
The best part of being over fifty, is that you did all your stupid stuff before the internet.
Don't stress about your eyesight failing as you get older. It's nature's way of protecting you from shock as you walk past the mirror.
Forget age. If you can still manage to blow out your birthday candles, everything is dandy.
50th Birthday Jokes about Memory
Congratulations, you've finally reached the wonder years... wonder where your car is parked? Wonder where you left your phone? Wonder where your glasses are? Wonder what day it is?
The good thing about having a bad memory is that jokes can be funny more than once.
We'll be friends 'til we're old and senile... and then we'll be new friends!
I swear, if my memory was any worse, I could plan my own surprise party!
I've reached an age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.
50th Birthday One-Liners about Grey hair
You know you're getting old when the little old grey-haired lady you helped across the street is your wife.
Don't worry, they are not grey hairs, they are wisdom highlights. You just happen to be extremely wise.
Those aren't grey hair you see. They're strands of birthday glitter growing out of your head.
A little grey hair is a small price to pay for so much wisdom.
If grey hair is a sign of wisdom, then you're a genius!
Jokes about Menopause
Night sweats and hot flashes are nature's way of lowering your heating bill so you can save more money for your retirement.
Menopause gives me the freedom to say anything. The only filters in my house are for the coffee.
When I asked for a smoking hot body, menopause was not quite what I had in mind.
I'm still hot, but it comes in flashes.
I start out each day as Mary Poppins and end it as Cruella De Vil.
The 7 stages of menopause: Itchy, Bitchy, Sweaty, Sleepy, Bloated, Forgetful, Psycho.
This one doesn't count as a change-of-life joke, but somehow it feels like it should fit in this section.
I don't want to brag or make anybody jealous or anything... but I can still fit into the earrings I wore in high school.
50th Birthday Personalized Message Poster
And if you're looking for a really unique and memorable way to wish someone a happy 50th birthday, then do check out our 50th birthday message posters . Easy to edit and print out at home, your gift will be the talk of the party!
More 50th Birthday ideas...
I hope you enjoyed our 50th birthday jokes collection. These other pages also have some great ideas for 50th birthday celebrations, so do check out our 50th birthday quotes, 50th birthday poems, 50th birthday gag gifts, and 50th gag certificates (including the "Certified Oldie Award").
Still don't know what to write in their birthday card? Check out 100+ of the Best Happy Birthday Wishes and Happy Birthday Quotes, Wishes, Videos, and Printables pages.
Looking for party ideas? Check out our 50th Birthday Ideas page.