Funny Mothers Day Quotes
for Cards

Looking for funny mothers day quotes? Check these out and have a giggle.

One of these days I'm going to get around to make some funny fridge magnets using these mothers day quotations. I think they'd be great, don't you?

Funny Mothers Day Quotes

"If evolution really works,
how come Mothers only have two hands?"
-Milton Berle

"It is never easy being a mother.
If it were easy, fathers would do it."
-Anon

"Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children!"
-Sam Levenson

"I'd like to be the ideal mother,
but I'm too busy raising my kids."
-Anon

"Children are natural mimics who act like their parents
despite every effort to teach them good manners."
-Anon

"Working mothers are guinea pigs in a scientific experiment
to show that sleep is not necessary to human life."
-Anon

"The one thing children wear out faster than shoes is parents."
-John J. Plomp

"Setting a good example for your children
takes all the fun out of middle age."
-William Feather

"My mother told me a million times not to exaggerate."
-Anon

"I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford.
Then I want to move in with them."
-Phyllis Diller

Funny Mothers Day Quotes:

"The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers.
The original meal has never been found."
-Calvin Trillin

"My mother's menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it."
-Buddy Hackett

"There is only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it."
-Chinese Proverb

"Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young."
-Anon

"Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs."
-P.J. O'Rourke

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, I am my mother after all!"
-Anon

"When I was a boy, my mother wore a mood ring. When she was in a good mood it turned blue. In a bad mood, it left a big red mark on my forehead."
-Jeff Shaw

"Mother Nature, in her infinite wisdom, has instilled within each of us a powerful biological instinct to reproduce; this is her way of assuring that the human race, come what may, will never have any disposable income."
-Dave Barry

"When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen.
When they're finished, I climb out."
-Erma Bombeck

"If your kids are giving you a headache, follow the directions on the aspirin bottle, especially the part that says 'keep away from children'"
-Susan Savannah

"I love to play hide and seek with my kid, but some days my goal is to find a hiding place where he can't find me until after high school."
-Anon

"Ma-ma does everything for the baby, who responds by saying Da-da first."
-Mignon McLaughlin

"Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly."
-Ambrose Bierce