Funny Mothers Day Quotes for Cards

funny mothers day quotes

Looking for funny mothers day quotes? We've got a fabulously funny selection here that will make you and your Mom smile!

Or at least reassure you that you're not alone - the quote about lack of sleep certainly rings true for me right now!


One of these days I'm going to get around to make some funny fridge magnets using these mothers day quotations. I think they'd be great!

Funny Mothers Day Quotes


"If evolution really works,
how come Mothers only have two hands?"
-Milton Berle


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"It is never easy being a mother.
If it were easy, fathers would do it."
-Anon


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"Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children!"
-Sam Levenson


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"I'd like to be the ideal mother,
but I'm too busy raising my kids."
-Anon


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"Children are natural mimics who act like their parents
despite every effort to teach them good manners."
-Anon


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"Working mothers are guinea pigs in a scientific experiment
to show that sleep is not necessary to human life."
-Anon


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"The one thing children wear out faster than shoes is parents."
-John J. Plomp


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"Setting a good example for your children
takes all the fun out of middle age."
-William Feather


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"My mother told me a million times not to exaggerate."
-Anon


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"I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford.
Then I want to move in with them."
-Phyllis Diller

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Funny Mothers Day Quotes:

"The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers.
The original meal has never been found."
-Calvin Trillin


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"My mother's menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it."
-Buddy Hackett


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"There is only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it."
-Chinese Proverb


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Looking for a gift your Mom will love?

Check out our easy mothers day gift ideas


"Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young."
-Anon


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"Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs."
-P.J. O'Rourke


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"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, I am my mother after all!"
-Anon


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"When I was a boy, my mother wore a mood ring. When she was in a good mood it turned blue. In a bad mood, it left a big red mark on my forehead."
-Jeff Shaw


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"Mother Nature, in her infinite wisdom, has instilled within each of us a powerful biological instinct to reproduce; this is her way of assuring that the human race, come what may, will never have any disposable income."
-Dave Barry


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"When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen.
When they're finished, I climb out."
-Erma Bombeck


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"If your kids are giving you a headache, follow the directions on the aspirin bottle, especially the part that says 'keep away from children'"
-Susan Savannah


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"I love to play hide and seek with my kid, but some days my goal is to find a hiding place where he can't find me until after high school."
-Anon


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"Ma-ma does everything for the baby, who responds by saying Da-da first."
-Mignon McLaughlin


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"Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly."
-Ambrose Bierce


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"A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once,
and by car forever after."
-Peter De Vries


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"Children are a great comfort in your old age
- and they help you reach it faster, too."
-Lionel


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"Parenthood is the passing of a baton,
followed by a lifelong disagreement as to who dropped it."
-Robert Brault


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Related pages

I hope that one the funny mothers day quotes on this page was just right for your mom! Here are some other pages I think my might enjoy:

Funny Mothers Day Poems
Short Mothers Day Poems
Christian Mothers Day Poems
Mothers Day Sayings & Sentiments
Making Bath Salts

Want to make a gift your mom will love?

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