90 Funny Thanksgiving Jokes for Kids
Last Updated: August 22, 2022
Looking for the funniest Thanksgiving jokes for kids? On this page, you'll find a collection of clean jokes you can share with your children, friends, and family this Thanksgiving! From funny turkey jokes and corny pumpkin jokes to roll-your-eyes bad dad jokes, there's a Thanksgiving-themed funny here for everyone!
Are you looking forward to having your family sitting around the dinner table this Thanksgiving? Be sure to unleash some of these funnies on your captive audience, lightening the mood and making it a memorable meal for all.
Scroll down the page to read the full collection of kid-friendly jokes, or use these links to jump to a particular category.
Best Thanksgiving Jokes for Kids
These are the BEST Thanksgiving jokes for kids! These jokes are so bad that they're good. They're sure to keep the kids entertained through Thanksgiving dinner!
Why did the turkey cross the road? Because the chicken had the day off!
What did the pumpkin say after Thanksgiving? Good-pie everyone!
Which side dish tells the worst jokes? Corn(y) bread!
What happens if you eat too much at Thanksgiving? You get autumn-y ache!
What's the number one key to a great Thanksgiving? A tur-key!
What is the cutest season? Awww-tumn.
Why did the cranberries turn red? Because they saw the turkey dressing!
Why is Thanksgiving such a clever holiday? Because it is in Know-vember.
What always comes at the end of Thanksgiving? The letter G.
Which holiday is Dracula's favorite? Fangs-giving!
Funny Pumpkin Thanksgiving Jokes
These corny pumpkin jokes and snigger-worthy PUNkin puns are perfect for sharing with your friends at Thanksgiving!
What do you get when you drop a pumpkin from your roof? Squash!
What do you get when you divide a pumpkin's circumference by its diameter? Pumpkin-pi!
What's the best thing to put into a pumpkin pie? Your teeth!
What is a pumpkin's favorite sport? Squash.
What do you call a pretty pumpkin? Gourd-geous!
Who helps the little pumpkins cross the road safely? The crossing gourd.
What does a pumpkin like to read? Pulp fiction.
Funny Turkey Thanksgiving Jokes
Gobble Gobble! Why not share these hilarious turkey-themed Thanksgiving jokes with your family and friends as you gather for your tasty turkey feast!
What did the turkey say to the hunter on Thanksgiving day? Quack, quack!
Why did the turkey cross the road twice? To prove he wasn't a chicken!
What do you call a turkey on the day after Thanksgiving? Lucky!
What do you call a rude turkey? A jerk-ey!
Why didn't the turkey want any dessert? He was already stuffed!
What is a turkey thankful for at Thanksgiving? Vegetarians!
What do you call a running turkey? Fast food!
What does a one-legged turkey say? Wobble wobble!
Where do you find a turkey with no legs? Exactly where you left it.
Why can't you take a turkey to church? Because they use fowl language!
What do turkeys like to do in the summertime? Have peck-nics!
What do you get when you cross an octopus with a turkey? Enough drumsticks for everyone!
What happened to the turkey that got into a fight? He got the stuffing knocked out of him!
What key won't open any doors? A tur-key!
What's the best dance to do on Thanksgiving? The turkey trot!
What does a turkey dress up as for Halloween? A gobblin'!
What is a turkey ghost called? A poultry-geist!
How did the turkey get home for Thanksgiving? She took the gravy train!
Knock Knock Thanksgiving Jokes for Kids
Everyone loves a knock-knock joke! These classic knock knock Thanksgiving jokes are perfect for sharing any time on Thanksgiving day!
Knock Knock! Who's there? Dishes! Dishes who? Dishes a very bad Thanksgiving joke!
Knock, knock! Who's there? Butter. Butter who? Butter open up quick, I have a funny Thanksgiving joke to tell you!
Knock, Knock. Who's there? Gladys! Gladys who? Gladys finally Thanksgiving day!
Knock, Knock. Who's there? Ben! Ben who? Ben waiting for Thanksgiving all year!
Knock knock! Who's there? Phillip. Phillip who? Phillip a big plate of turkey and let's start eating!
Knock Knock Who's there? Handsome. Handsome who? Handsome gravy to me, please.
Knock Knock! Who's there? Norma Lee. Norma Lee who? Norma Lee I don't eat this much!
Knock Knock! Who's there? Tamara. Tamara who? Tamara we'll eat all these leftovers!
Knock Knock! Who's there? Annie. Annie who? Annie body seen the turkey?
Funny Thanksgiving Pilgrim Jokes
Of course, Thanksgiving started with the Pilgrims, so it is no surprise that they pop up in a joke or two.
What did pilgrims use to bake cakes? May-Flour!
April showers bring May flowers. So what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims!
Why can't the pilgrims keep their pants from falling down? Because they wear their belt buckles on their hats!
If the pilgrims sailed on the Mayflower, then what boat does a teacher sail on? Scholar ships.
What do pilgrims bake a Thanksgiving cake with? May-flour.
What did a Pilgrim call his best friend?... My Pal-grim.
Why did the Pilgrim eat turkey at the first Thanksgiving? They couldn't fit the moose in the oven.
Funny Thanksgiving Dinner Jokes
These funny Thanksgiving dinner jokes are perfect for casually slipping into your conversations at the dining table!
Why was the Thanksgiving dinner so expensive? It had 24 carrots.
Which two animals get stuffed at Thanksgiving? Turkeys and people (after Thanksgiving dinner).
What smells amazing at Thanksgiving dinner? Your nose.
What's the best thing to wear to Thanksgiving dinner? A har-VEST.
What time do families sit down to Thanksgiving dinner? Halftime.
Why shouldn't you sit next to a turkey at Thanksgiving dinner? Because he will gobble up all the food.
What is the best Meghan Trainor song to play while preparing Thanksgiving dinner? "All About That Baste"
Funny Thanksgiving Dad Jokes
We all love a super cringy Dad joke! Here's a tonne of Thanksgiving dad jokes you can unleash on your family or impress your own Dad with.
What is the biggest difference between a turkey and a chicken? Chickens celebrate Thanksgiving!
What does a turkey say to the computer? "Google, Google, Google."
Why did the police arrest the turkey? He was suspected of fowl play.
Can a turkey jump higher than the Empire State Building? Yes, a building can't jump.
What do you get if you cross a turkey with a banjo? A self-plucking turkey!
What do vampires call Thanksgiving? Fangs-giving.
A shopper looking for a larger turkey asked a grocery store worker if the small frozen turkeys get any bigger? He replied "No, they're dead."
Funny Thanksgiving Puns & One-liners
Feeling PUN-ny? Be sure to weave these funny Thanksgiving puns into your conversations over your Thanksgiving feast!
What's cookin' gourd lookin'?
Pie've been waiting all season for this!
Let the gourd times roll!
Let's give 'em pumpkin to talk about!
Gobble 'til you wobble!
Nothing gets butter than this!
Feast your eyes on this!
'Tis the season of gourdness!
Corn you believe it?
Oh my gourd!
No fowl language!
More rolls? You butter believe it!
Have a gourd time this Thanksgiving!
Funny Quotes and Jokes about Thanksgiving
Share a laugh with loved ones with these funny Thanksgiving jokes and quotes.
You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out.
~ Jay Leno
May your stuffing be tasty.
May your turkey plump,
may your potatoes and gravy have nary a lump.
May your yams be delicious,
and your pies take the prize,
and may your Thanksgiving dinner stay off your thighs.
Thanksgiving is a time to count your blessings, one by one, as each relative goes home.
~ Melanie White
Thanksgiving dinners take 18 hours to prepare. They are consumed in 12 minutes. Half-times take 12 minutes. This is not coincidence.
~ Erma Bombeck
Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie.
~ Jim Davis
Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be in my pants.
~ Kevin James
Don't bother counting calories today, just your blessings!
I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.
~ Erma Bombeck
Thanksgiving - when the people who are the most thankful are the ones who didn't have to cook.
~ Melanie White
Thanksgiving Coloring Pages for Kids & Adults
I hope you enjoyed these Thanksgiving jokes! To keep the kids busy and entertained while you prepare for the holidays, check out our Thanksgiving coloring pages for a huge range of fun pictures to color in!
More Thanksgiving Ideas
We hope you liked our collection of Thanksgiving jokes and puns. If you're looking for more Thanksgiving quotes, you may like these other pages.
- Happy Thanksgiving Messages & Quotes
- Happy Thanksgiving Images
- Thanksgiving prayers & Blessings
- Thankful Quotes
- Thanksgiving Bible Verses & Scriptures
- Thanksgiving Messages to Teams & Employees