70 Best Spider Puns and Jokes for Kids
Last Updated: September 14, 2023
Looking for the best spider puns for kids? On this page, you'll find a big list of hilarious spider puns and jokes perfect for every day of the year, and especially for the Halloween season! Whether you're in search of spooky spider funnies, clever spider web puns, or even Spider-Man jokes for the superhero fans in your life, we have an assortment that is guaranteed to make both kids and adults laugh out loud.
Scroll down the page to read the full collection of kid-friendly spider one-liners and jokes, or use these links to jump to a particular section. Why not "treat" your neighbors to a spider knock-knock joke when trick or treating at Halloween?
So get ready to giggle as you read these 70 spider jokes and puns for kids!
Best Spider Puns For Kids
We're feeling punny! Check out our collection of classic spider puns and impress your family and friends!
What do you get when you cross a spider with a snowman?
Frostbite.
What did the spider do when he broke his computer?
He called the webmaster!
What do you get when you cross a spider with a computer?
An itchy byte.
What do spiders order with their burgers?
French flies.
Why did the spider go to the computer?
To check his webmail.
Why is the spider so clever?
He is always on the web!
What do you call a spider that can dance?
A jitterbug!
What did the spider do when he got a new computer?
He created a new web page.
Why did the spider get a job in tech support?
Because he was great at debugging.
What kind of music do spiders like?
Country and Web-ern music.
Why did the spider start a blog?
He wanted to share his thoughts on the web!
What do you get when you cross a spider and a corn?
Cobwebs.
What do you call it when Spider-Man doesn't have his costume?
Peter Parked.
What are young spiders called?
Arach-kids.
What do you call spiders that just got married?
Newly webs.
My friend asked me to take the spider out instead of killing it.
We had some drinks; turns out he's a nice guy.
What's a spider's favorite hobby?
Fly fishing.
Who does a spider see when it's sick?
A spin doctor.
What did the spider do when he finished building his website?
He bug-tested it!
What do spiders do for fun?
Surf the web!
What did the spider say to her therapist?
I feel like I'm spinning out of control.
Why do spiders make great tennis players?
They have an excellent top spin.
What fitness class will you find a spider in?
Spinning.
Why did the spider get grounded?
For spending too much time on the web.
Why did Spider-Man fail his driving test?
He is a terrible parallel Parker.
What did the fly say to the spider that ate their friend?
You're a buzz kill.
I bought a new pair of spider-print pants.
The fly keeps getting stuck.
Why are spiders great at playing baseball?
They catch all the flies.
What is a spider's favorite type of weather?
A tarantula downpour.
Did you hear about the friendly spider that starved to death?
He wouldn't hurt a fly.
Which app do spiders use to listen to music?
Spot-a-fly.
What do you call an undercover bug?
A Spy-der.
Why don't spiders race F1 cars?
They always spin out.
What do you get when you cross a computer with a spider?
A website.
What spider comes out on a full moon?
A wolf spider.
Best Spider Jokes for Kids
In this section, you'll find all of our favorite kid-friendly spider jokes that are sure to give you a giggle. We think these are the best on the web! (Get it? On the web?)
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Luke.
Luke who?
Luke out!
There's a spider.
How big is the world's biggest spider?
Eight feet tall.
What do you call a spider with 10 eyes?
A spiiiiiiiiiider
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Terry.
Terry who?
Terry-fied of huge spiders.
Why did the spider start a band?
You can get discovered on the web.
What is Spider-Man's favorite day of the week?
Websday.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Howie.
Howie who?
Howie going to get rid of that spider?
Why did the lady kill a spider with soap?
She wanted to give it a clean death.
What did the spider say to the computer?
Stop bugging me!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Anita.
Anita who?
Anita help catching that spider on the wall!
Why did the spider go to the doctor?
Because he had webbed feet!
Why did the spider get a job as a comedian?
Because he could spin a yarn!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't say spider?
Why did the spider work as a web designer?
He had experience in web development.
Why are spiders such good swimmers?
They have webbed feet.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Don't cry! The spider is gone.
How do you know a spider is rich?
They have a huge net worth.
A spider got stepped on.
It looked genuinely crushed.
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Hugh.
Hugh who?
Hugh's afraid of big spiders?
Where do you buy a pet spider?
On the web.
The saying "Out of sight, out of mind" does not apply if a spider disappears in your house.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
I'm a.
I'm a who?
I'm a-frayed of spiders!
Why does Spider-Man's year only have 11 months?
He lost May (Aunty May).
Does hairspray kill spiders?
No, but their hair looks stunning!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Alpaca.
Alpaca who?
Alpaca the bags, you kill the spider!
Why did the spider become a DJ?
It can spin amazing tunes.
Why did the spider buy a computer?
It wanted a web site!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Omar.
Omar who?
Omar gosh, there's a spider on the wall!
Why are spiders annoying?
They drive us up the wall.
Why do spiders live in haunted houses?
Ghosts can't break their webs.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Big Harry.
Big Harry who?
Big Harry Spider coming to get you!
Which type of spider enjoys Father's Day?
Daddy long legs.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Ice cream.
Ice cream who?
Ice cream whenever I see a spider.
Spiders are ahead of their time.
They've been on the web for millions of years!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Spider.
Spider who?
Spider-man, your friendly neighborhood superhero!
More Spider Puns & Seasonal Laughs
Our spider puns are just the beginning! Dive deeper into the season with our Halloween Jokes and Skeleton Puns. Then, serve up some humor alongside your turkey with Thanksgiving Jokes. Don't let the laughter freeze over - keep it going with our Christmas Jokes, Snow Puns, and Winter Jokes for Kids.
Halloween Coloring Pages
In search of the perfect Halloween entertainment for your little ones? Look no further! Our spooky yet delightful Halloween Coloring Pages and Sugar Skull Coloring Pages are just the treat! And for extra eerie amusement, your kids will simply love unraveling our Halloween Word Searches.
Pumpkin Carving Stencils
Looking for pumpkin carving stencils to help you carve your spookiest pumpkin yet? Here you'll find lots of ideas for how to carve your Halloween pumpkin, with free printable stencils to suit beginners to advanced carvers. From spooky jack-o'-lantern faces to friendly pumpkin faces for little kids, we hope you find a free jack-o'-lantern pattern that you like!
Pumpkin Coloring Pages
Looking for more coloring pages to print for your kids? These pumpkin coloring pages and pumpkin templates are great for Halloween, Thanksgiving, or Fall-themed activities. On this page you'll find a huge range of pumpkin images, from simple pumpkin outlines to spooky carved pumpkins, and more intricately-patterned designs for big kids and adults to color in too!
